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A few months ago we made the choice to experiment a little with how we arranged our 930am and 11am services. Rather than having the Lord’s Supper towards the end of the service we shared together near the beginning. We did this so that we might have an opportunity to allow our children to be included. For some of us, this wasn’t something that caused us concern but there were also parents who weren’t so sure about whether their children should be taking part as we passed bread and wine or juice around.

This week at our 930 service we’ll be having an “all-in” –our children and young people will be staying in for the whole service. And we’ll be sharing the Lord’s Supper again. So how should we be thinking about our children (and ourselves) and whether they should be taking part?

There are three steps to working this out:

  1. What is the Lord’s Supper?

  2. Who is the Lord’s Supper for?

  3. How do we think about our children?

What is the Lord’s Supper?

The Lord’s Supper is a meal that Jesus himself told us to share in. It is a development of the annual Passover Meal where the Israelites would remember how God rescued them from Egypt so many years before. He instructed every Israelite household to kill a lamb and mark their doors with its blood – the lamb died so that they didn’t have to (Exodus 12). Jesus shared a Passover meal with the Twelve on the night before he died but when he came to the part of the meal where the head of the house would say “this is the Passover of the Lord” he, instead, said, “this is my body, given for you” (e.g. Luke 22:19). Jesus takes the “remembering meal” of the Passover and turns it into a “remembering meal” about his own death. Just like the Israelites looked back to the sacrifice of the Passover lamb, now we look back to Jesus’ death. It is obvious from the Apostle Paul’s words in 1Cor. 11:23-26 that the very first Christians began to share the Lord’s Supper as they met together, perhaps eating a whole meal together.

So when we share the Lord’s Supper, we’re reminding ourselves (and each other) of just what Jesus’ death has done for us. As we eat, the minister says, “take and eat this in remembrance that Christ died for you, and feed on him in your heart by faith and with thanksgiving”. The “feeding” of the Lord’s Supper is a feeding of the heart – we really are spiritually nourished by being reminded of what Jesus has done for us!

Who is the Lord’s Supper for?

If the Lord’s Supper is a reminder, then it follows that itis for those who already know about Jesus’ death and are already “feeding” on him as they trust in his death to pay for their sins. They’re being reminded, not taught for the first time. So it’s for Christians! That’s why we welcome everyone who is a Christian to join in, but we also carefully warn those who are not. We can’t stop people from sharing in the Lord’s Supper but, by being clear about what it is, we can both encourage those who already trust in Jesus and help those who do not follow him to think about things a little more. Simply put, it’s a meal for Christians that can also help non-Christians work out where they stand.

How do we think about our children?

Traditionally the Anglican church (and others) have made confirmation the entrance point to the Lord’s Supper for our children, often also being associated with a significant “first communion”. We baptise our children when they are infants, making promises on their behalf. Baptising them doesn’t make them Christians, but it is a way of preaching the gospel to them in a physical way and it also binds parents and godparents with the obligation to teach the gospel to their children so that they can have a faith in Jesus of their very own.

At some point the child may get confirmed and confirm the promises that were made on their behalf. They take personal ownership of the gospel promises and say that they believe them. But it’s important to remind ourselves at this point that confirmation doesn’t make them a Christian any more than baptism does! The only thing that matters is that they trust in Jesus. As we learned even this last week together in church, if they have the Son then they have life! And if they don’t have the Son then they don’t have life (1John 5:12). Confirmation is a very tangible way for someone who was baptised as a child to express their personal faith in Christ. But (and we must be very clear on this) even if they don’t get confirmed, if they trust in Jesus then they’re saved. It’s the trusting in Jesus that we’re looking for, not the confirmation certificate! Of course, if they were baptised as a child and now have a lively faith in Jesus perhaps we should start a conversation about confirmation!

I hope you can see how this begins to help us think through whether our children (or even we!) should share in the Lord’s Supper. What is the criteria for sharing? It’s faith in Christ. We feed on him in our hearts during the Lord’s Supper because we’re already doing that in our lives! We’re reminding ourselves of what we already know! So the question I think we need to be asking ourselves about our children is not “are they confirmed?” but “do they trust Jesus?”. If the answer to that more important question is “yes” then there really is no reason why they shouldn’t share the Lord’s Supper with us.

Perhaps you’ve never stopped and asked that question about your child: do they trust Jesus? Well, maybe just like the introduction to the Lord’s Supper service asks the question gently of everyone who is there, perhaps use this week to ask the question gently of your children. Do they trust Jesus? Do they understand the gospel (even if in a way that’s simple and appropriate for their age)? If not, is there something else I need to tell them? Or do I simply need to keep praying for them and looking for evidence that they do? Each one of our children is different and we’ll have to work this out for ourselves. The reality is that when they’re very young it can be hard to tell – they often simply mirror our own words and actions. But as they get older we can get a clearer picture. You know your own child and I encourage you to do what you think is best for those precious ones that God has entrusted to you. Could it be that this Sunday will actually be their first communion? Perhaps not the way we had originally imagined but still a deeply meaningful moment as our believing children “proclaim the Lord’s death” (1Cor. 11:26) to us?

As we share the Lord’s Supper I would encourage you to think this one through for you and any  family that you bring with you to church. We invite every single person that loves and trusts Jesus to join with us in the Lord’s Supper, no matter what their age. The Lord’s Supper encourages us and renews our faith – but it also clarifies our spiritual situation. Which is it for our children? And for us?

David Ould
Senior Associate Minister

PRAY: Give thanks for all Jesus has done for us through his death. Ask God to use the Lord's Supper to strengthen and encourage all believers, regardless of age, as they remember Christ's sacrifice and proclaim His death until He comes again.

 

Photo by Tim Wildsmith on Unsplash